Any  teen or parent of a tweens/teen knows how busy life can become balancing school, sports, music, theater and other activities. The build up of stress and demands can leave both teen and parent maxed and ready for some down time. When the holiday break rolls around the idea of spending time with family time together can feel like another stressful task creating tension, frustration and emotional meltdowns. Trying to balance the need for connection and the desire to pass down holiday traditions can quickly become a power struggle.

Some simple tips to help teens manage mandatory family time is to remember that personal alone time is needed, for both teen and parent, before the mandatory family time. Taking a day in between the end of school break and the next family event can give the body and mind time to regulate back to their normal state. 

Family time can be stressful and triggering depending on family dynamics, history and personalities. Developmentally for tweens/teens it is normal to assert their independence and difference from their family. It is also normal to feel awkward and different because of the emotional and biological changes happening in their bodies. Remember parents, give yourself and your teen extra time. You don’t have to do everything. Listen to their concerns and tweens and teens, I encourage you to communicate about what is going on with you. Your parents aren’t mind readers, as much as we want them to be. 

Lastly, this can be a controversial one but I encourage everyone in the family to limit phone use as much as possible. Exchange the screen for a hike, baking or cooking together, playing board games, putting together puzzles or anything in between. Being present and connected to the moment is how you build lasting memories and connections with your tween/teen and parent. It is not the gift that is desired, it is the connection and sense of belonging that we all seek during the holiday season