Gathering together for the holidays can bring a myriad of emotions from excitement and joy to anxiety and dread. Discussing sensitive topics like infertility can be challenging, especially when faced with inappropriate questions or advice, even from well meaning people.

Here are five ways you can respond:

Deflect Politely: When met with an inappropriate question or advice, you can respond with a gracious deflection like, “I appreciate your concern, but this is something that is private.”

Set Boundaries: Firmly but assertively establish boundaries. For example you can say, “I understand you mean well, but I’d prefer not to discuss this topic right now.”

Educate Gently: You can choose to provide some education such as, “Infertility treatment is very complex, and requires a lot of time and energy and we’re managing it in the best way possible. I appreciate your understanding.”

Redirect the Conversation: Shift the focus by saying, “Let’s talk about something else that’s positive and uplifting right now.”

Lean on Support: Seek support from friends and family who understand your situation. If an inappropriate comment arises in their presence, they might step in and redirect the conversation for you. You can even directly ask them to play the role of a buffer.

Remember, you’re not obligated to disclose personal information if you’re uncomfortable. Choose a response that aligns with your feelings and helps protect your emotional well-being.