As the school year has gotten into full swing, it can be hard to determine if your tween/teens’ behavior is a common response to transition or change and when it has progressed into more concerning moods and behaviors that would qualify as anxiety and depression.

As an adult we can remember our own struggles in middle school and high school around the demands and desires to fit in. We have a need for a sense of  belonging and have “our person” that understands and accepts us. This can look different from one youth to the other. 

When viewing socialization struggles in tweens and teens here are some things to consider:

1. Individual’s personality type. Are they a loner? Do they like multiple friends? Do they only connect with one or two people?

2. Has there been a recent event either in the home or with friends that has been difficult for them to adjust to or avoiding or just not knowing how to process?

3. Does it feel like there is an “out of balance” feeling with work/school and play? (Note: Play can be with themselves or with friends.)

4. Are they sleeping a lot or have odd sleeping habits? Do they appear defensive in ways they haven’t been before? Have they stopped doing activities or hobbies that they used to really enjoy doing? Is there increased worry about friends, family or school demands? Is there increased time with themselves without a balance of play or joyful activities.

Answering some of these questions may help you better understand your tween/teen and determine how best to support them.