Typically, I know how I’m going to start my blog, however, today I don’t know where to start. I wish that I could start with “Happy Lunar New Year’s,” but I can’t.

For those of you who read this and don’t know me I’d like to introduce myself. I’m a practicing therapist here at Village Wellness. I love where I work and the people, including my clients, I work with. I originally began my career working with children but have transitioned to not only working with children but also working with individuals suffering from trauma, PTSD & CPTSD. I don’t regret the transition, as I am able to work with both populations and all of them are amazing, inspiring, strong, and courageous.

During my time here, my clients have worked with me, and I them, while I had Covid. They have been extremely patient during the past 2 years as I struggled with my health. Now I have an answer, and I am beginning my journey with long Covid, triggering adult asthma. This diagnosis has given me back my life because I have struggled with my health during this period of time. This diagnosis is new, I’ve known for 1 week. While I share this with friends and family the typical response is, “Oh, I am so sorry Kandice.” I’m not sorry though. I’ve actually felt better in the last week than I have in years. Which brings me to the subject of my blog.

Lunar New Year is now a state holiday here in California. Typically, I can’t make plans, because I don’t know if I will be well enough to keep the plans, which has meant I have missed out on years of family celebrations and this has affected my own mental health, at times. However, when I found out about our new holiday, I began to make plans for today, Sunday January 22, 2023. I already wanted to do something because I enjoy celebrations of almost any kind. In preparation for today I made sure to go to bed at a decent hour so I would be ready to enjoy the celebration with my daughter and my best friend’s daughter. I turned on what I now refer to as “Happy News,” to hear about the different celebrations as I prepared breakfast. Today that was not the case and my “Happy News,” was anything but happy.

And with that here we go…

“Mass shooting in Monterey Park 10 killed 10 wounded (as of the time of publishing and 11th person has died). Second shooting 20 minutes later in Alhambra 2 miles away from the first shooting. Suspect still at large. The hero’s of the second shooting able to wrestle suspect to the ground and took gun away. Suspect still at large.” This happened 4-6 miles away from where I had intended to go today to celebrate. My eyes watered as I struggled to decide how to handle this. I say that because if you know me you also know that my family knew 4 of the murdered victims at the Borderline mass shooting in November of 2018 and that my son attended a school in which 2 students had planned a mass shooting and he would have been there had it not been for brave students notifying authorities. You would also know that my family is a part of the API community: my daughters, in-laws, ex-husband, friends. Even though I work with individuals with CPTSD and PTSD I can’t work with mass shooting victims, as it is still something I am struggling with and target in my own individual therapy.

Mass shootings, WHY?! I don’t have an answer. I wish I could tie this blog up in a neat bow with answers, but I can’t. Here’s what I can say, hug your friends and family a little tighter. If you have put off reaching out to people please pause now and do it. Remember to say “I love you.” We all live on the same planet so please allow yourself and others grace. Please take a deep breath before reacting, and even if we disagree, my hope is that we can do it with love and grace. Not everything is positive, however, I implore all of you to find something positive in your day, everyday. If you wanted French fries but didn’t think you had the money, only to find enough change to be able to buy them, celebrate that. Anything.

I’ll end with this. When I was married, one day my husband asked me why I didn’t have a funny story about something that happened during my day. I didn’t understand what he meant and so he went on to explain that I had always come home with a funny or positive little story about something small that happened during the day. I didn’t realize I did that and so I thought about it, told him a story and we went on with the rest of our evening. Since then, even if I don’t tell someone a positive or funny little antidote about my day I still tell myself one.

I send out all my love to all of you. I hope we all can enjoy the Lunar New Year, even in the shadow of tragedy and loss.