Hi, my name is Janine and I seem to have lost my motivation. I had it the other day, but this morning it’s gone. No matter where and how hard I’ve looked – and I’ve looked in all the usual spots – I just cannot seem to find it.  Have you seen it?

Feeling as though you do not have any motivation, or that motivation has been lost, is a frustrating experience. We find something we want to do and are excited about it. We start the “new” thing and our motivation is at a high level. Days, weeks, or months go by and we are still feeling good and invested in what we are doing and then all of a sudden it changes. The desire to do that now not so “new” thing wanes, reasons to not do it begin to creep in (cue the “I don’t have time today,” “I’ll get to it later,” or “Just this one time won’t make a difference” self-talk). Then the slump comes, the habit we started is stopped in its tracks. Trying to restart may work and you may re-engage and feel motivated again. Or motivation may be elusive and when that happens, our inner critic joins the conversation and negative self-talk (“I should be able to do this,” “There is something wrong with me,” “I’m a failure”) can keep us from finding our motivation for a period of time. This can also be the time where we play the comparison game which usually ends up with us feeling upset and negative about ourselves. This push/pull of starting, stopping, and restarting can be exhausting and at times bring up feelings of anxiousness and sadness, and overall feeling poorly about yourself. Sound familiar? So many of us experience this, ad to be honest it really sucks. And, as we approach the year mark into pandemic living, challenges with motivation have never been more present and finding ways to find increase motivation can be particularly challenging. But it is possible! How, you ask?  First, let’s start at the beginning.

What is motivation? Generally, motivation is the drive we have to do things in our lives – the reasons we engage in activities, or our reason why.  

What is motivation? Generally, motivation is the drive we have to do things in our lives – the reasons we engage in activities, or our reason why.  There are many different factors that influence motivation – and by influence, I mean the factors that that increase or decrease motivation. Breaking them up into two broad categories of internal and external motivators can help. External motivation refers to the drive to do the activity based on receiving something from someone other than yourself. For example, your paycheck may serve as motivation to work or receiving a compliment from one of your loved ones that you are looking fit is motivation to keep working out.  Internal motivation refers to things that come directly from within ourselves, such as feeling proud of yourself or wanting to avoid a specific outcome or emotion. Identifying how each type of motivators impact you is important as that can help you as you recraft how to incorporate what you need to build up your motivation.

Positive reinforcement can also help maintain behavior by adding something (a reward) when a behavior is completed. For example, if you complete a 21 day work out program positive reinforcement might be buying yourself a new workout shirt. There are many different ways to reinforce behavior but consider picking a broad range of rewards from different areas of your life including things you buy, things you do alone, things you do with others. Things you buy could be treating yourself to a new gadget or item of clothing; things you do with others may be planning a night out with friends, taking a day trip, or coffee with a co-worker; things you do for yourself (think self-care) may look like taking a bath; downloading a new podcast/book, or taking time to cook yourself a special meal. Incorporating these different types of rewards into our lives at different intervals can help even out the ups and downs that are experienced with motivation.

Ok, now that we have some of the components, how do we put that together? Here are a few steps to help you explore your motivation.

1.     List the activity you want to do.

2.     Identifying the reason why you want/wanted to engage in the activity in the first place. If the activity is not new, ask yourself if it is still important to you and if not, what has changed?

3.     What goal (desired outcome) did you envision? Is it realistic and if not, how can it be adjusted to be more realistic? Making S.M.A.R.T.  (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Timely) goals can help us focus on what we really want which help us reach our goals.

4.     What kinds of motivators are effective for you? External or internal (if you are not sure think about what has helped you achieve success in the past)

5.     Identify different milestones on the way to your goal and set up rewards (positive reinforcement) for each milestone

6.     Start!

The last and a very important step is to give yourself a break and have some empathy for your experience. Navigating changes in motivation is hard on top of managing the challenges of every day life. Identifying negative and judgmental self-talk and shifting to a more empathic and encouraging perspective can help ease some of the resistance associated with low motivation. Also, if we adopt a less judgmental perspective, we can focus on the present or the future instead of the past which may help us feel more positive and hopeful about ourselves and the future.

If you are struggling with motivation, anxiety or depression, or negative self-talk, you are not alone. It is okay to ask for help, and if you feel stuck and we are here to help.