With fire season underway in the Conejo Valley and many of us just a year away from the devastating and highly stressful experience of last year’s Borderline tragedy followed immediately by the stress of the Woolsey Fire, it makes sense that many of us are currently on edge.  If smelling a bit of smoke in the air is getting you or your kids on high alert, you are not alone!

So, what do we say to the kids who are also experiencing this same anxiety? Here are a few quick tips to help you manage this challenging season:

Have a plan, and share that plan with the kids.

Kids feel safer when they are confident that they are taken care of, so remind them of how you have prepared for situations like this.  They won’t know if the plan was developed today or weeks ago, but knowing a plan is in place will help everyone feel a bit calmer. If you have a plan to stay with friends or family in case of evacuation, share this with your kids.  If you are near a current fire, and suspect an evacuation is coming, take steps to prepare for it by packing a few things, just in case. Considering today’s date, be sure to pack you child’s Halloween costume and discuss your evacuation trick or treat plans (as I’m sure this is a concern for many children).  

Be Honest, but don’t catastrophize. 

Yes, fires are a real danger, but our kids don’t need to be told the worst case scenario.  Schools may close, power may go out, you may get evacuated, but these things do not guarantee that your home will be harmed.  Tell you child all the ways that you are preparing to stay safe and away from danger.

If you can, try to make it fun.

Many schools are closed and power may go out.  This can be an opportunity for some creative fun.  Build an obstacle course in the living room. Maybe you can drive the kids somewhere outside of the current fire zone and have “an adventure” (be sure to have a full gas tank!)  Maybe go through the fridge and come up with a silly meal that you would normally not have the time to cook or a “living room picnic” (so you can clean out the fridge in case of power outages). 

Talk about fears that your child is expressing. 

Hear what they are concerned about.  Maybe they’re really worried about the family dog staying safe, so get them involved with the dog’s evacuation care plan.  A lot of fear stems from feeling unable to control our world, so giving kids tasks that focus on what you CAN control is a helpful coping skill.  Have them pick out their 3 favorite toys to take with them in case of an evacuation. Have them place shoes near the door to be ready to go. Let them choose which leftovers to eat from the fridge.  The fact is that we don’t get to decide where fires will start, when power will go out, or whether we will get evacuated, but we CAN take charge of how we respond.  

Stay Calm.

Kids feed off of our energy.  Take care of yourself in a way that helps you keep yourself together.  Call a friend or loved one, take a few deep breaths, charge your phone, get some gas in your car, make sure you eat.  Your kids need you to be your best today, so make sure you take care of the person in charge of their safety: YOU. You’ve got this!  Also, grab your car charger for your phone. You may need it.